Hers
by aerstes
Summary: *First Submission* Rose and Ten-Two shortly after they find themselves alone in Rose's apartment after the Doctor has left. I planned on writing a more saucy ending but refrained to see what the general opinion was. Just a cute snippet of what I think would be a nice beginning to their story. Not sure if I'll continue submitting let me know what you all think! :)


He had remembered how to make her tea. Well, that seemed to be a step in the right direction. Rose stared down at the mug in her hands as if it were a foreign thing; alien even, though she didn't appreciate the cruel pun. Nothing felt quite right at the moment, nothing fit.

She could feel his presence from across the room, and she could feel his gaze on her. That seemed like her Doctor, too. Of all the adventures they went on and all the times Rose became overwhelmed, her Doctor had always known when to comfort her and when to simply give her space. And here they were again. The Doctor- _this_ Doctor, perfectly understood and accepted the situation, and Rose was still fighting to catch up to him. And again he just watched her, like _her_ Doctor had done so many times while they were together. Always watching and always concerned for her, waiting for permission to console her or too apprehensive to try, she never knew which. How many times had she caught him stealing a glance at her, his eyes full of kindness and affection? Could _this_ Doctor look at her the same way now?

Of course he could, he was the same person! But he _wasn't_. God, what had he done to her! He had given Rose everything she had ever wanted and taken it all way at the same time. So much like the Doctor. A walking contradiction; a paradox. The man she had crossed time and space and universes for was sitting right there on her couch waiting for her. Of course, she did it to 'save the world', so to speak; though it was _so_ much more than that. But deep down Rose knew that behind it all, she had risked _everything_ just to see him one more time.

Years of them running and chasing and yearning, and this was what it led up to. He was simply sitting on her couch, right there in front of her. But in Rose's mind, part of him was missing. He, that Tardis, and the excitement and adventure that followed them were all pieces of the puzzle that _was_ the Doctor. And he, in his entirety, was out there somewhere, in another universe with another companion, doing what he did best. And here she was with _this_ Doctor, the piece of the puzzle that didn't quite fit.

But she should be happy, shouldn't she?! He was here, with her. For so long Rose had been convinced that she would never see this wonderful man again, but now he was willing to be with her forever. And what an amazing thought that was. _Forever. _How she had ached for him to say those words as she had said them to him, so long ago as she clutched his hand so tightly like it was the only thing keeping her on the ground. But where would _her_ Doctor be, forever? She knew the loneliness that ravaged through his hearts. She felt what must be a mere sliver of it when he left her there on that beach, the words unsaid slicing through her to her core.

_He still didn't say it, the git,_ she thought to herself.

But _this_ Doctor spoke those words to her, didn't he? Those words that burned through her soul every minute of every day since the day they first met. And she had kissed him, and held his hand as they watched the man he _should_ be disappear forever. Hearing those words whispered in her ear, so quiet she almost missed them, yet so loud and full and quite frankly _overdue_ that the love that nearly destroyed her then surged her lips to his like a wave crashing against the shore she had listened to for hours as she wept into the sand that day at Bad Wolf Bay. And it felt _real, _so real that for the brief second it lasted she felt more alive than she had ever felt, even during her time with the Tardis, with _her_ Doctor.

She turned now, swiveling her chair to look at him. He _had_ been looking at her, but didn't think to flinch or look away now that their gazes met. He looked so out of place in her apartment. Of course, who could fit in with these surroundings. She no longer lived in the apartment she had shared with her mother. Soon after she was separated from the Doctor she realized that her endless misery and heartbreak only brought down everyone around her. She became a toxic slew of ramblings and frets and tears and misery. Jackie and Pete didn't need that. They were just getting their lives back. They were ready to bring a new child into the world, and they were stuck coddling their first with just as much effort. Well, Jackie's first. And Mickey; well, he was Mickey. He tried so hard to help her, to bring her out of the days she spent refusing to leave her bed, to speak, to even eat. But the bitterness got to him, and for good reason. She became toxic to the people she loved most, and she wouldn't have that. So she got out of bed, reclaimed her title as shop girl, and got her own place. It was nothing substantial, just a small one bedroom place, and a bit dingy, but affordable. But she didn't stay a shop girl for long.

She laughed at herself for a moment, realizing what it must look like from an outsider's perspective, filled with pages and pages of her 'work'. Taped on the wall, scattered on the table; endless pages and books. Theoretical physics and science-fiction books, math equations and everything else in-between, from when she had decided that she was going to find the Doctor, when the world seemed at an end. It was funny, she didn't realize how much she had picked up from the Doctor from his hours of ramblings until she decided she needed it. She also wondered how much absorbing the heart of the Tardis had bumped her IQ as well. One day, one desperate, black day she put it to use, found people willing to listen to her and help her cause. It was only coincidence that she got to save the world as a side effect.

The Doctor smiled at her hopefully, glad she was at least looking at him now. He had been admiring her work, holding one of the blue prints of a vortex manipulator prototype.

"You shoulda seen where that one took the poor lab rat we strapped it to," she said, her voice hollow, and more high pitched that she had intended.

"Several places at once I should think," he said whistfully, tossing the paper aside.

"It had been embalmed for quite a while before we got our hands on it, if it makes you feel any better."

What on Earth were they having such a useless conversation for? Rose wanted to say a million things to him at once, and here they were rambling about lab rats. She laughed to herself, angry and utterly spent.

"What's so funny?" he asked, still staying put, looking at her like she was a wild animal she he was holding out food.

"I must look like a right fool to you," she mused, still chuckling. "I mean, I nearly destroyed the fabric of the universe trying to get to you. And now you're here…you're sitting in my bloody living room, amongst my mad scribblings, and I…I can't even look at you!"

Her laughter was dangerously close to turning to tears. In fact, she felt a teardrop fall into her lap. She was a mess. She dropped her face into her palms, wishing she could just block everything out. A fraction of a second later she felt herself being wrapped in a warm, familiar embrace. The Doctor, even this one, always knows what to do.

"Actually," he murmured, his chin resting on her golden hair, "It was not bad work for a shop girl! Well…you're much more than that, aren't you? Always have been, you just proved that to an entire alternate London."

She smiled. He _sounded_ like her Doctor.

"I would think you'd have corrected it all."

"Oh, I did," he stated quite amusedly, "but just in my head. Heaven forbid anyone get their hands on working blue prints to this stuff. We might just tear the universe open. Oh wait, already did that."

She laughed, and pressed herself further into his chest. She couldn't help but feel comfortable and safe in his arms, regardless of the circumstances.

The Doctor sighed deeply, regretfully.

"I suppose it was boyish hope for me to think you'd be happier now."

She pulled away from him suddenly, seeing the sadness that filled his big, brown eyes. God, she could be selfish sometimes. She saw the Tardis slowly disappear, heard her glorious sounds for the last time, and as soon as it had gone, she had removed her hand from his, reducing her contact with him to curt 'yes' or 'no' answers and dull, empty words as she stared into the blank space the love of her life had just been standing in. Not once did she think that he could be hurting, too. But how could he not? He had just gotten his Rose back, and she could barely even talk to him. Well, she wasn't really _his_. Oh, she needed to stop torturing herself with this! _Look at him, Rose_, she thought. _Look into those eyes. That _is_ your Doctor_.

She put her hands on his chest, her thumbs grazing the familiar feeling of his suit jacket.

"I'm so sorry, Doctor," was all she could manage to say. She couldn't put her feelings into words; she couldn't even comprehend them well enough to explain them to herself.

"Rose!" he exclaimed, wrapping his arms around her again. "Don't be sorry! I understand that it's hard for you."

"It's not that," she replied, her voice muffled in his chest. She wrapped her arms around the small of his back, breathing him in. _He smells like my Doctor. With just a hint of Donna Noble. _She chuckled at that thought.

"It's just that…all I ever wanted was to keep you from being alone. But I couldn't do that, could I? You're _here_, but, you're also out there. Traveling all by yourself. I never wanted that for you! I can stay here with you, _forever_," she breathed, "but I'd still know that at the same time I'm still leaving you alone forever."

"Oh, nonsense," he said, pulling her to her feet so he could look her in the eyes. God how he missed those eyes. "I've got Donna! Well, he's got Donna. You know what I mean."

She saw his eyes flicker with doubt.

"No, something's wrong, isn't it? I saw you…_him_, get the same look in his eyes when he looked at her as the look you gave me when you wrapped that big button around my neck at Torchwood. There is something is wrong with Donna, isn't there?"

"She'll be alright," he said, his voice hollow. He wouldn't look her in the eyes as he said it.

"But will you, Doctor? I mean, will he? How many more times will he feel loss before it destroys him? How much longer can he be on his own? I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him…erm…I mean you. But not like this. I wanted to spend the rest of my life in the Tardis, watching you save the world, keeping you from being lonely."

"Rose," he whispered.

"And then there's you!" she sputtered, caught up, unintentionally pushing herself away from him. "I mean, doesn't it hurt? You've given up everything! Won't you miss it? Everything you are, everything you were, everything you could have been; all those things that make you so _amazing_. I mean, why didn't you just stay with the Doctor, then? There's no better person fitted to the Doctor than _himself! _No one that could better understand him."

"Rose," he pleaded.

"Go ahead and say it. Tell me it hurts, that you hurt, that he hurts. Just say it! Everything is ruined, isn't it? And it's my fault! You'd be better off if you'd left me to die in that shop!"

"Rose!" he demanded. Hot, burning tears pooled in her eyes, blurring her vision. He pulled her back to him, cupped her chin in his palm, gently stroking her skin. There was so much between them just then. He saw her crying, and it brought him to tears just to see it. But he smiled at her, like he always would when she was being absurd.

"Don't you get it, Rose? Don't you understand that fate has chained us down, unmovable prisoners forever pleading, forever wishing? Do you know what I wished for?"

She blinked, trying to see him more clearly. He clasped her hands in his, gripping them tightly, desperately.

"Wh-what?" she stammered.

"Darling, don't you realize? There was no way we could be together," he paused, "_forever_. Not with things as they were. I could stay like this while you quickly burned through your human lifespan. Or worse, at the rate I'm going, I could run out of regenerations at any second and leave you alone with a Tardis in the middle of deep space. Or worst of all, Rose, _my_ Rose I could have lost you. I already tried that and it's the worst pain I could have ever imagined. Our lives were exciting, yes, but far too dangerous. Danger is fun when there's nothing to lose. And I never did have anything to lose. I had already lost it all. Until you. Then everything changed! You asked me if I would miss it, that life in the Tardis. And at one time I think I would. I'd miss being needed, I'd feel guilty for leaving it behind. But there's been so much loss, Rose. _So much_. I can't do it anymore. I can't feel the pain. My life, his life, is an eternal burden, but one that he, that I, could never leave. Rose, I would have done anything to give it up just for a simple existence, the weight of the universe lifted off my shoulders."

"But you always seemed so happy saving the universe!"

"Not anymore. Something else will always go wrong. It's a thankless job. The only joy I had left was to see through the eyes of my companions, to see the joy they felt, that I no longer could."

"So that's what you wished for then?" she asked, "A life that's simple? Well, you're human, now. That's about as simple as it gets."

He smiled, a small chuckle escaping his lips. "No, Rose, I wished for the only thing left that made me _truly_ happy. Happiness that's real, that's all mine. I wanted to be able to," he took a step forward, putting his hands on Rose's waist and pulling her closer, "wrap my arms around it, stare into it's _beautiful_ blue eyes, and say 'Rose Tyler," her breath caught, "I will love you…_forever_."

Rose's heart leapt in her chest, her stomach surged with a million elated butterflies. He was so perfectly stereotypical and miserably cheesy at that moment that she could have slapped him. His hands clasped together on her lower back, gently touching his forehead to hers. Rose closed her eyes, breathing him in. When she opened her eyes, he was staring into them, and he was so close to her. There had been so many times when he had been just as close, and she had been afraid to even move. But now she had no fear, and she felt an amazing moment of clarity as she pushed her lips to his, and the world around her disappeared.

His lips were so soft and inviting. She felt heart skip, and a surge of warmth spread down to her entire self as she realized that _she was kissing the doctor_. She felt one of his hands gripping the small of her back, bringing their bodies closer together, and the other one wove itself into her hair. This was seriously happening. She couldn't help herself anymore. Rose had been without him for so long. She _needed_ him.

She pushed her lips deeper into his, bringing her hands to his chest to assure herself that he was really there. Her mouth parted open, and their tongues began to mingle together. She felt his heart beating faster as her breathing quickened. Rose crushed her body against, making sure that there wasn't an inch of space between them. She needed to feel his body against hers; she needed to feel his warmth mingle with her own.

He was _her_ Doctor. And he was hers to keep. And as she pulled him by tie to her bedroom and prepared to wrap herself around him and never let that skinny man go, her mind drifted to the bit of Tardis coral on the coffee table that buzzed ever so slightly with life and growth when you listened close enough, and she knew that this was where she belonged. This Doctor was undoubtedly _hers._


End file.
